Awakening & Death of a Dark Force Attachment

I said I finally started opening my eyes to new things, in my intro post. And by that, I mean I truly (finally) began my Spiritual Awakening. Figuring out who am I in this world, what can I do, why am I here, all the great existential questions. And for me, because of who I am, it was rather an intense experience.

It started, as I said before, with me opening my mind to ideas I'd dismissed or suppressed for ages, and then it was like I fell off the cliff of my life's experience and into an entire ocean of information that has just been waiting for me. Perhaps I dove. But I'm certainly no longer on that cliff anymore, looking down into this world. Now I swim about, surrounded by all these wondrous things, and they call to me...

 Anyway, so at first, my senses were very much heightened as I started really listening to them. I remember having lunch with a friend, and there was a serious connection of some kind with the server. She radiated a bright happy yellow light, and it was like our souls recognized each other. We both felt it, but neither of us said anything. That, by itself (knowing/feeling her reaction strongly) was a shock to me. I'd never had that kind of first-meeting reaction with anyone before. Then the friend and I went shopping, at her favorite local metaphysical shop. The person behind the register seemed surprised by us when we came in, or maybe was surprised by the entourage I carry with me.




By this point, I'd had several people tell me I'm very very VERY spiritually active. And then, when both a medium friend and a strong reader friend both tell you you're the most active person they've seen, you take note!  And I was noticing things all over the place, including people noticing MY things!  I seemed to be even more active in my friend's presence.  We'd been chatting Empath stuff for a few weeks already.

Anyway, the shop was lovely and the whole store wanted to come home with me. It was my birthday, so I splurged, buying myself several books and some stones and incense.

When we got back to her place, my friend (who is very strong in her own spiritual path) offered to read me, and when I consented, she was instantly harassed by my entourage, who wanted to talk to her for me. They all started talking at once, and it took a while to get the message out.

I've got a good team around me, in 3 spirit guides, and a possible spirit animal. I'm a very old soul, old enough my friend couldn't pinpoint my age or how many times I've been reborn, how many lives I've lived. I've always felt older than I was, and this resonated with me. Goosebumps.

And the soul age thing she elaborated on, by telling me I'm bigger, older, and stronger than I think I am. As active as I am, I don't have anything bad around me, which means I'm strong enough to get rid of any bad things on my own without really trying.

In that moment, I didn't really believe it. Yes, I felt like I can handle myself, but I also felt like a lost little kid, running around, trying to figure the whole world out, terrified I'll take a wrong turn. But this comment from her definitely resonated, and my guides echoed her sentiment. More goosebumps.

While I'm definitely surrounded by good beings, part of the reason is because there was something dark, of my own making, that had been with me since childhood, and it haunted me still. I'd reduced it to something small and caged, but it wasn't gone.

I thought I'd handled it, but my friend said I still needed to deal with it.  The good beings have surrounded me to protect me from the caged thing, to keep it from hurting me anymore. My whole body lit up with goosebumps at this. My guides all said, "YES!!!" to this.




My friend said she saw a book that needed to be destroyed, and an old diary of mine instantly came to mind. There has been some serious abuse in my past, and I had regurgitated memories of that abuse and dumped feelings into that old diary. And I'd also felt like I needed to keep it around, but my friend said that was the book talking, and it was lying to me. It was feeding my rage and hatred about the events of my past, and how they have always affected me- and the book definitely wasn't helping.

I saw the book being destroyed by fire, and I saw it being buried, sealed away within a metal box.  And I needed to deal with it before I opened myself up too much more to spiritual stuff, before I allowed myself to "see".  The overwhelming feeling I got was, "You don't need to see that." My friend agreed, and approved of my disposal plan, then we wrapped up our reading for the night.

When I got home, I looked up creatures created through powerful emotion, and quickly discovered what I'd made: A dark force attachment. My guides were all screaming in agreement as I read the article: This is what I was dealing with, absolutely, without a doubt. And my plan to destroy the object I'd used in its accidental creation was exactly right.




Over the next few days and weeks I gathered my materials I needed to properly destroy and dispose of the diary. When it was time, and I picked up the diary to carry it to the car, even TOUCHING it made my skin crawl. It roiled with hatred. I was very serious, wracked with nerves, as I drove far away from home to burn it in a place where it couldn't find its way back to me if it somehow survived.  

As the book burned (safely, in a fire-proof bucket, over gravel, in a place with no fire restrictions!), I also burned sage and some incense. The smoke from the sage wafted over the book as I sat there.  The book screamed as the flames licked the pages.  I sat trembling, holding my chevron amethyst in hand for protection, as I watched it die. I took photos of the burning book to remind myself, (later, in an expected moment of weakness) that it was gone.

As I scrolled through the images, looking for one where the smoke was swirling in a cool way, to send my friend as proof that I was doing as we planned... I realized there were SKULLS within the smoke. Several of them. The biggest wave of absolute relief washed over me, and I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, it was dying. My plan was working. Head to toe goosebumps. Singing ones.

These are the best 2 of the skull shots. The top one is near the binding, facing to the right. The bottom one is near the seam in the burning bucket, facing forward.





When it was all over, the ashes from the book went into a metal container. I sealed that up and wrote all over the box, "WARNING! Dark Force Attachment remnants within! Do not open!" The container was buried away safely, and finally, at last, I made my way home, saged myself and my car, and did some meditation work to try and get rid of the jittery nervous feeling I'd had all afternoon.

I was putting on a brave face while I dealt with my personal demon, and needed to decompress and let it go. It was much easier said than done. But I held those skull-in-the-smoke photos close as I processed everything, and reminded myself I DID kill that Dark Force Attachment. And I did it all by myself. 

Maybe my friend was right, and I really am bigger, stronger, and older than I know. That was the moment when I started to truly believe it. And everything else began to fall into place, a little at a time.

Basics of Sage Smudging

If you ask a question about how to cleanse and protect, with regards to spiritual stuff, you'll have people answering "sage" or "sage smudge," which is helpful if you know what that means...  but less helpful if you don't.  So let's explain it!

Sage is a sacred herb that is frequently burned for protection and cleansing.  As you can see above, the tip of the stick has been lit, like incense, and is burning slowly-

Sage can be any type of sage, blue, white, etc.  You can burn dried kitchen spice sage if that's all you have, as well!  The intent is what matters the most, as with all magical working.

With smudging (any herb!) the smoke is what you're after.  Waft that smoke around however you can- wave the sage stick, use a feather or feather fan, it's all good.  You want to use the smoke to cleanse, and there are different methods based on what or who you are cleansing.

First, no matter your need, set your intention:  Cleanse, protect. 

You can simply focus on this for a moment before beginning and hold that intention as you work, or if you want/need, you can chant the words aloud or in your mind as you work.  Do it in the way that feels right to you, and you won't go wrong.

For people:  Standing with arms outstretched, if possible, wave sage smoke under the feet, then up the front of the body.  Under, in front, and above each arm, heart chakra, third eye/face, and above the head.  Then same deal, but back side of the body to finish.  Feet to arms, back of arms, below and above each arm, back and sides of head, and top of head.  If possible, have someone else sage you, but if you must sage yourself that works fine as well.

For rooms/houses:  Walk around the outside of each room, along each wall, waving from the ceiling to the floor, focusing especially strongly in the corners of the rooms-  spirits like to hang out in the upper corners of rooms.  I also make sure to get all windows, doors, and reflective surfaces-  Any means of entry into my space is covered.  If you are getting the whole house, start in the basement and work up to the top floor, room by room, until the house is done.

For objects, like a new deck of tarot cards, jewelry, stones, sacred items:  Wave the item through the smoke, covering it well.

You can smudge using other herbs if that's all you have, but I suggest looking up the intent and herbs before use, so you can find what you have that fits your needs the best.  I've smudged with incense smoke, dried herbs, sage sticks...  they all work, they just each do a slightly different job.

Also!  If you are a person who cannot inhale smokes or are sensitive with the lungs, in general, there are sprays that have been infused with the herbal properties and will work just fine too.  Most metaphysical shops will have some options or know where to send you if they don't have what you need.  Of course you can always order sage spray online!  There are lots of types of sprays, so poke around and be sure you've got the one you want before you run to the register!

So!  Off you go!  Cleanse and protect yourself, your family, and your space!

Blessed be.